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Which woman are you to him?

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One of the questions that I often have to answer from women is “Why do men cheat?” This alone is a broad subject and thus I will try to break it down into a number of sub-topics to help you understand it better.

I think the first question that a woman has to ask herself is –Who am I in this man’s life? This will go a long way in ascertaining why he cheated and what is the possibility that he might cheat? As I promised I am going to be brutally honest and so please bear with me because some of the words I will use will be strong and some of you may even find derogatory but this is a mere peak into the world of men and most of it is plain guy talk. This article seeks to classify women according to men and please note that I am referring to women with whom a guy has an intimate emotional link or connection of some sort and not relations to the guy. So let’s get into it….



Some of you may argue that this does not exist, but I am here to say such a woman exists. This woman is that woman that this guy has always wanted…. She is beautiful, she cares for him and seems to understand him in a way that no-one else does. When you two are together everything seems to flow and you always have a great time without trying. The sad truth is that the guy who would give you his all is probably stuck in the friend zone with you. You see him as a brother or something of that sort. If you guys are already an item and you are his perfect woman, then he is probably in it for the long haul. In reality however, this woman is probably dating some bastard who treats her like crap- in other words, she is already taken. If a guy sees you as his perfect woman he will not compromise or jeopardize the relationship because he respects you and values you in his life. He also knows you're irreplaceable.



The trophy chick is that woman that a guy wants more for his ego than anything else. She could be the hottest chick in school, some celebrity, some other guy’s wife or just a chick that the guy knows every guy would want to bang. Note- I said the hottest. He is mainly in love with the idea of going out with her and the response that he will get from his friends and exes e.g. “He’s bangin' Miss Universe”. He’s not necessarily in love with the woman. If you are that woman then the danger that comes with this is that after some time he might eventually find out that you aren’t “all that” or that connection just isn’t there and leave you for someone else. Have you ever heard of guys that cheated on their beautiful girlfriends with some not so attractive chick and wondered why???

3.       THE GOOD GIRL

This is when you are viewed as that sweet girl, with good morals who is focused and seems to have her life in order…. goes to church and does all sorts of good stuff. This woman is generally the one that guys would want to save for marriage but wouldn’t want to fool around with in the meantime. He generally behaves and tries to act focused around you. This is mainly to try and get on your level. He knows you would make a great wife but right now all he really wants is to have fun. This type of woman is the type that normally holds onto her virginity, isn’t into flings and stuff like that. The possibility of such a woman getting cheated on is very high because there is bound to be someone else who is willing to fool around. He will ask out everyone else and save you for last i.e. when he is done fooling around and wants to settle down he will call you.

4.       THE SLUT

You guys have fun together, you go out to the club together and he knows all your sexual exploits- mainly because you tell him about all the guys you’ve screwed and double-crossed, what you did last week and all your escapades.  it is important to note that he will never let you know or feel that you are a slut. You guys are like best buddies and you feel like one of the boys to him. You are the woman he goes clubbing with; you dance, grind and he gets a chance to squeeze that booty. Hell yeah, the guy enjoys it but he will never take you seriously when it comes to long term commitment. You can try but one thing is true…firstly he doesn’t trust you enough because he knows you, and secondly the idea that you’ve been with so many guys just doesn’t do it for him. Don’t get me wrong though…. He definitely does want to screw you but getting married to him is a long shot. You might end up as his wife but you would need to do a lot of cleaning up your act as well as some constant explaining to soothe his paranoia. He thinks about you when he’s having problems with his “real” girlfriend but don't be fooled.

5.       THE EASY FUCK

This is normally a girl that a guy is in some way superior to. A classic example is the maid/ housekeeper and in an office scenario it could be that secretary or the intern. The guy doesn’t really have to go as far as asking you out… all he has to do is flirt a little and soon he is slapping that ass and before you know it you guys are getting it on. In most cases he doesn’t want a relationship because he already has a girlfriend that you probably know. You don’t necessarily have to be friends and in most cases such relationships are discreet and purely sexual.


This is that woman that seems to care and every guy knows she would make a lovely wife but the problem is that she just doesn’t look or isn’t the way the guy had imagined in his head. To be blunt, this woman isn’t as beautiful as he would want… so he has some reservations. It could be that she's not as learned, or the ass isn’t an onion booty, she’s not the guy’s ideal body type, doesn’t dress a certain way or the complexion just doesn’t do it for him. In this case the guy will go through his disappointments and after life humbles him- will come to the realization that Nicki Minaj or Rihanna are out of his league. Thus he settles for this chick. Another way to say it, is that she is a plan B or a time pusher. The relationship might work but the bottom line is that she is not the woman of his dreams and problems will arise when he meets that dream woman later in life.

NB* Also falling in this category is the woman who a guy has to marry not because he wants to but is forced by circumstances such as a pregnancy or pressure from friends and relatives

7.       THE OLD FLAME

This could be a girl that he wanted back in high school but never got, and as life would have it circumstances have changed and its now the girl who wants him. This case is more about ego for the guy… righting some wrongs in his life. It’s driven more by some suppressed anger and a secret desire to exact revenge on those that made his 'nerdy days' unbearable. You probably tortured this guy by placing him in the friend-zone back in high school, so to him it’s more about regaining lost pride.  He could genuinely still have feelings for you but it’s more a question of showing you what you missed out on. His attitude is 'LOOK AT ME NOW'.


This is the woman that was just in the right place at the right time. She has most of what he wants and can be described as “not bad”. Maybe the guy wanted to settle and the same thing was going through the girl’s mind and it was that goal that brought them together. Not necessarily each other’s best choice, but each will do for the other. Much similar to a compromise chick but different in that in this case the guy was driven by free will and the attraction was mutual. He is content with his choice for now.  She’s good enough and he might consider the long-run with her.

So to sum it up those are the broad categories that women generally fall under in every straight guy’s life and I’m sure there are others but in the meantime let us focus on these. The point is to help you ascertain where you stand in his life as this will determine his propensity to cheat in the long run or not. Some of you might fall in more than one category and the good news is that you still have a perfect shot at true love. Whichever category you might see yourself in isn’t the issue… The secret is to try and get you into the PERFECT WOMAN CATEGORY and that is what I will help you do during the course of time.

Remember if you understand how he thinks then it’s much easier to find, build and strengthen the relationship you have always wanted with your dream man and ultimately….. YOU CAN BE THAT WOMAN THAT HE BELIEVES IS SENT FROM HEAVEN.



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