HOW TO GET HIS ATTENTION (EVEN IF YOU DON’T HAVE THE LOOKS)
Attraction is quite a complex subject. Oftentimes the ones we love don't notice us at all. It might seem like there's no hope, but in this article, I'll show you how to get his attention even if you don't have the looks of a supermodel.At some point you might have been tempted to look down upon yourself because of a 'perceived' flaw. Common phrases that I've often heard include the following:
"I'm not beautiful enough"
"I don't have a big butt"
"My teeth are crooked"
"I'm too dark"
"I've got a big tummy"
The list could go on.
The truth however, is that- not all men are for big booties. Some prefer them small. Not all men love huge boobs. Some love them tiny and firm. Not all men want slim model types.... there are some who love them big and voluptuous.
So what this means is that, THERE IS NO UNIVERSAL STANDARD FOR BEAUTY. It is all simply a matter of personal preference. More importantly, all these things are secondary. While it may sound like a cliche, what truly matters is who you are on the inside.
RECOMMENDED READING: 10 WAYS TO TELL IF YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME ON A GUY
A general misconception about attraction is that it is purely based on looks. That is true to a certain degree, but the subject as a whole is a bit more complex. Most men will rather search for the noble character attributes and virtues when looking for a steady partner. They will simply look for someone who cares for them and makes them happy.
The magazines have created stereotypes of what the perfect woman is. This is often unrealistic and involves a lot of photoshop as well as nipping and tucking. I'm sure any sane man knows this.
So with that in mind I hope you understand that there are no set laws that define beauty. Which brings us to the good news:
YES, YOU CAN MAKE HIM NOTICE YOU, EVEN IF YOU DON’T HAVE THE LOOKS.
I have compiled a few simple tips to help you. The first part covers how to improve your self perception and make him notice you. The second part deals with how you can build a unique connection with him.
Here goes
BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF
This part is actually for you and not for him. These tips will simply make you glow, and once you start shining, you'll eventually show up on his radar. The ultimate choice lies with him however, but the great part is that even if this doesn't work on him, you'll still be an awesome human being. If his radar doesn't detect you, then he probably isn't the one. Not everyone has good taste, right?
1. Celebrate yourself
Identify that one thing (or more) that you love about yourself and that you are confident about and flaunt it.
Start by taking a good look at yourself. Be honest with yourself. What do you love about yourself? Is it your smile? Or is it those hips? Maybe it’s your beautiful voice? What is it that you do well?
By doing so you have created a platform that helps him see you for you, and not as one among many in a catalogue of beautiful women. This is a great way of dealing with competition since you are in control and are the one who determines the terms as well as the way he sees you.
Disclaimer: When I say flaunt it I’m not saying needlessly expose every inch of it... but simply, wear clothes that compliment your figure... Remember... everything we do should be CLASSY. So if your booty ain’t meant for skinny jeans then find what works for you. You’ll be quite amazed at what a well chosen skirt or dress could do for you.
2. Be your best self
Write down your goals for every aspect of your life, set dates, timeframes and work towards achieving these or at least, get some direction in your life.
One of the biggest turn-offs is a woman who has no direction or plan for her life. I’m not talking of big world changing plans but simply what you want from life, marriage, work, for your children etc. Have a purpose... it could be to raise your children well, or to be an amazing wife.
This adds depth to you. If you know where you’re going, it helps even the right people to identify, assist, follow or even lead you to your destination. So you might not have the looks but trust me... any real man will appreciate a woman with brains.
3. Set standards for yourself
Be the kind of woman your mother would have wanted you to be.
So that means dressing well, behaving yourself and not falling for every man that comes your way. You are special regardless of your station in life so treat yourself like a queen. STOP sleeping around if you are. Word spreads.It’s a small world and you don’t want the tags that are associated with that to be attached to you. Stop posting naked pictures of yourself on the net... they portray you as shallow and simply looking for attention... an alternative word is slutty. You want me to keep it real, right?
So have a list of some things that you will never do... or at least not in public. The thing with guys is that, we might enjoy seeing you do all those crazy things that degrade you, but trust me... No one's trying to settle with that. So it only hurts you in the long run. Men (especially the good guy that you are looking for) want a woman with morals.
4. Take care of yourself
Practice good hygiene and always make an effort to look your best all the time.
Bath, wear clean clothes, brush your teeth and do all the essentials. Be neat, tidy and organised. Men love a woman who takes care of herself. You might not have those designer labels, but any man will notice a clean, well groomed woman. It says I can take care of myself and thus, I can do the same for you. Any man who is looking for a serious relationship will notice that.5. Be good and do good
Go out and make someone happy
Genuinely set out to make the world a better place. You can achieve this by doing simple acts of kindness for others. This doesn't even have to be expensive.... even a simple smile to a stranger goes a long way.So work on making yourself a likeable person. Go easy on the backbiting, complaining, whining and moaning. Treat people the way you would want them to treat you. If a guy wants you for the long haul he will want to make sure you will treat him well. How you treat others is a great reflection of this. Seeing you do something nasty to someone else, kinda says you will do the same thing to me.
A common mistake I've seen some women make, is to be extremely mean to someone else and then go from that to being extremely nice to someone else. Someone will shout and ridicule their maid, employee or child, then a few seconds later they smile at you as if you weren't watching.
Personally, once I see you shouting at someone else, a little voice inside me says "I'm next" on your list.
To sum this up, your love interest will see the way you treat the people around you as a subtle indicator of how you will treat him and the people he loves.
So go out and do something good for someone. It doesn’t have to be anything big... a smile, a compliment or even offering an elderly person a seat.....you never know who’s watching, and more so, it does your soul good when you make someone else smile.
6. Have lots of FUN
Joke, laugh, flirt, dance, sing, tease. Do what you love and enjoy it to the fullest. Enjoy your own company, before anything else. Get a hobby, develop a talent or even join a community.Don't take life too seriously hey. Anyone that wants to spend their life with you will definitely need the reassurance that being with you won’t be a life sentence in some gloomy relationship prison. Be fun enough to make that person feel that they would enjoy being stranded on an island with you. Always send out positive vibes.
BUILDING A CONNECTION
• Strip him naked..... Emotionally
One of the keys to winning your love over is by providing a safe space for him to be himself. If you guys are on talking terms one of the surest ways to make him see you differently is by making him comfortable enough to be vulnerable around you.That means not holding him to any unrealistic expectations or pushing him to be something he is not. It means being able to communicate without fear of judgement. It means knowing you have his back regardless what happens.
I like to phrase this as "allowing him to be emotionally naked around you."
Men are generally always under pressure to perform exceptionally. They are compared to their peers, not expected to show weakness and to carry the burdens of those closest to them. This can be quite a lot of pressure and at times it's too much to handle. As a sidenote- this is why most married men drift away from their wives.
One of the easiest ways to get him to open up, is by opening up yourself first. If you can laugh at yourself or comfortably say what's buried deep within you, it becomes easier for the next person to do the same and open up to you too.
I remember in my first year at varsity, we were struggling to pay our tuition fees. Being in a rather bougie environment, everyone else seemed to have it all together. People would borrow clothes, gadgets and money just to keep up with the Joneses. Life seemed to be one big party, but the truth is that it was all fake.
So this one day, I was talking to one of my classmates and she mentioned how her parents were struggling to make ends meet. She told me how she felt intimidated by the place and more of her fears. She wasn't sulking though. She made light of the whole situation and we made jokes about it.
I never told her this, but it lifted a huge burden off my shoulders. I could relate and thus, I saw a kindred soul in her. It made it easier to be my true self to her because she had been true to me.
This improved our communication and I did not have to portray myself as something I was not. As a result, I preferred to hang with her instead of the other girls, because I could be emotionally "naked" around her.
This should happen naturally though... you can't just go around telling your business to everyone.
• Put a smile on his face
Men generally enjoy being with someone that makes them feel good. Bald as he may be, in his mind he’s some secret superman... make him feel that.
He knows he’s no heartthrob, but deep down he aspires to be... make it come true for him. Flawed as we may be, a sincere compliment is always welcome. Make him feel comfortable to be around you.
Making him feel good does not mean forgetting yourself. The secret is to do it gracefully whilst maintaining your morals and dignity. Do not do it as a desperate attempt to win him over. He will know when you are doing that and it could hurt you more later when he uses it against you.
Be that woman who makes him feel good and I guarantee that sooner or later he will sit and think to himself “well, she (you) is kinda cute... and she would make a lovely girlfriend” and voila.
Conclusion
The media has created various standards of beauty. These standards might not tie into our essence, but that does not mean we aren't beautiful. That is because beauty is subjective and there is no universal standard for beauty.
This therefore means that you can actually love who you want to love. You just need to make them see you and how great you are.
One of the easiest ways to attract a life partner is to be the best possible version of yourself. That means looking your best, actively pursuing your dreams and being kind to others.
By spreading love and positivity to others, you can attract that same positivity into your life... as well as the man of your dreams.
I hope you found this article very helpful. Please share it with a friend and help them out too.
I would also love to hear what you think and how these articles have impacted your life. So feel free to send an email to: thewomanswingman[at]gmail.com for personal coaching and more.
IF YOU CAN MAKE HIM FEEL GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF HE WILL LIKE YOU, AND THE MORE HE LIKES YOU THE MORE BEAUTIFUL YOU BECOME TO HIM.
It’s simple logic.
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