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How to be more approachable

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I have met a lot of women who say despite their best efforts to be nice, guys still do not approach them. This might be you. It’s been a while since you gave out a number. The years seem to be flying past, and it gets particularly worrisome if everyone around you seems to be falling in love and getting married. You want to meet a great guy and fall in love, but then no one seems to be approaching you. You’re not getting any younger... but don’t despair. In this article we'll cover 9 tips on how to be more approachable.

I believe, if you want to find yourself in a meaningful relationship, the starting point should be yourself.

Most guys have a problem approaching women that they really like. This is mainly out of the fear of getting rejected. So as a result, all they do is watch you look beautiful from afar. Helplessly hoping for a miracle to bring you their way.... and a really really strong wind to blow you into their arms.

See, most men have been in situations where they were genuinely trying to be nice to a woman and she went full 'Bitch-Mode' on them. Such experiences can be humiliating and we would rather avoid them at all costs. So we might see women we like, but these experiences tend to keep us from taking action in fear of getting our egos bruised, “AGAIN”.

Now back to you...

9 tips to make you more approachable


If you want to be swept off your feet then its time you stop thinking all men are dogs. We are all human and though flawed, we are still a beautiful creation. It is only when you can accept this, that you can truly understand and connect with men. Yes, there are plenty bastards out there, but not everyone that approaches you is bent on screwing your life up. We aren’t all trying to mess you up. So let your guard down and let someone into your space. 

Oftentimes we can sense when someone is guarded, and this can either keep us from approaching, or simply encourage us to break down those walls... just out of curiosity. By presenting yourself from a guarded point, you make us approach you in "break-in" mode. This is why you must use your discretion to vet potential suitors.

2.       GET A LIFE

Show the world you're interesting and fun to be around. The easiest way to do this, is to find what you enjoy doing and do it. Have fun, live your passions and enjoy your hobbies.

The idea is to get you out there so as to help you meet new people. This also makes it easier for people with similar interests to identify you. More importantly,  it adds depth to you by broadening your horizons, and thus makes you an interesting person to talk to.

No decent guy wants a dull or boring partner. So you want to be a woman of substance. Men love beauty but that’s temporary, a good brain will definitely take you much further with him. So read, experience and enjoy life... it will give you much more to talk about and it broadens your range of conversation.


Men want a beautiful woman or at least a presentable one. Clean up, freshen up and dress well. This will help him notice how fantastic you are. Body odour and scruffiness are generally a turn off. If you can’t take care of yourself then how on earth do you think he should trust you with the family that you hope to start with him. Every guy wants a woman that he can proudly present to the people around him, friends, relatives and workmates.... and leave them in awe. So do your best to look the part.


One of the surest ways to meet people, and be met is to go out. Go to church. Go out to a restaurant or for drinks. Go out to that poetry function or that basketball game, and when you get there do your best to mix and mingle. Participate if possible. The secret is to have fun while doing this. That way you reap some form of benefit regardless whether you meet someone or not.

Don’t know where to go??

Try a local mall. Go window shopping. Go to that new food joint at lunch. Hang out with your friends. Go for that function that was advertised on that poster that you saw. Sign up for that dance class and try that new hobby. The list is endless. The right guy is out there looking for you as well.

So go out and tell him “I’m here”.

5.       SMILE

This is probably one of the most inexpensive yet greatest tool that you can use to make you more approachable. Oftentimes guys want o approach, but as you sit square faced, it could deter some of them in fear of being blown off.

A smile creates an atmosphere of warmth. It says “hey, I’m a nice person” and it makes it easier for anyone that might be planning to approach you. Genuine smiles generally come from within. They are a reflection of internal joy and they are allergic.

So this will definitely draw your prince towards you if you smile a lot more.


Shades are a great accessory and they make you look extra hot. More importantly, they make you even more intimidating because they hide your eyes. This makes it hard to tell your facial expressions as well as your mood. Studies have revealed that more men are likely to approach you when you’re wearing shades. So carry them along, but definitely lose them when something appears on your radar.


The easiest way to get to know a person is to strike up a conversation. Talk about the weather. Ask about work, and find common ground. If a guy is interested in you this gives him room to continue the conversation and it saves you the suspense.


Whatever you do, try as much as possible to avoid coming across as grouchy. Seeing you shout at someone is one of the greatest turn offs and you should avoid it. It makes you look bitchy and we don’t want that. Do we?If you feel you need to right a few wrongs or set something straight then do so gracefully and amicably.

It works against you if you talk negatively about other people or situations. Just like smiles are contagious, so is negativity.

When you complain about the economy, we might relate, but it makes us depressed. That does nothing to set you apart from the crowd.


Women usually go out in groups and this has quite a number of drawbacks. It intimidates most guys that want to approach by putting additional pressure on them to also impress your friends as well. It portrays your clique as a committee... and we will only present ourselves before the committee on our best day. I’m sure most guys will agree that it is much harder to approach a woman that's part of a group.


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