Have you ever had your heart broken, and found yourself wondering why he cheated, even though you had done everything right? Or did your man cheat and now you're unsure whether to stay or move on with him? Well in this article, we'll cover 9 reasons why men cheat.
We will start by talking about the types of cheaters out there. This will help you understand the nature of his bond with the person he cheated with.
This is a rather sensitive subject that guys hardly discuss with much honesty and I will tell you why.
If you ask any men why men cheat, we will give you the obvious answers. In most cases we leave out vital information because we someday hope to end up with you. Thus if we tell you as it is, we'll be easier to nail. Simple right?
My goal is to help women enjoy healthier relationships with great men, and that is why I am wrote this.
I have found myself in awkward situations a number of times... so I've cheated before. I'm definitely guilty. So I write from my own experiences as well as those of some of my peers. We do talk about it, hey.
I've also conducted numerous interviews with men who have cheated. I have observed and thoroughly studied the subject and ultimately came up with the following conclusions to answer the question- Why do men cheat??
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TYPES OF CHEATERS
I will begin by discussing the types of cheating then explain the possible reasons to explain that behavior. Of the guys that cheat, there are basically 2 types of cheaters.
Most guys attribute this to nature and it is the kind of guy who will cease an opportunity if it arose to enjoy some form of short term gratification. This type of guy isn’t really in search of a commitment of any sort because he already has a woman that he claims to love. This is the guy who would do either a no strings attached thing with one of your friends, go to a party and do a one night stand or plainly engage the services of a hooker.
A. OPPORTUNISTIC/UNCONNECTED CHEATERS
Most guys attribute this to nature and it is the kind of guy who will cease an opportunity if it arose to enjoy some form of short term gratification. This type of guy isn’t really in search of a commitment of any sort because he already has a woman that he claims to love. This is the guy who would do either a no strings attached thing with one of your friends, go to a party and do a one night stand or plainly engage the services of a hooker.
This guy isn’t emotionally connected to these people in any way and is merely just engaging because an opportunity arose and he thinks he can get away with it. This guy probably just found himself in an awkward position with an easy fuck (from our previous discussion) and an example could be that he is home alone and one of your “girlfriends” decides to pay you a visit or he’s at a party and “the slut” paid him some extra attention. It’s usually spontaneous. Opportunistic cheaters normally have a long list of sporadic conquests and can also be referred to as serial cheaters.
These are genuine guys who through circumstance, find themselves emotionally connected to two women at the same time. You might have been going through some problems and eventually both of you decided to give it a break either technically or emotionally. During the break he moved on to another woman (which is when you missed him and decided you wanted to work it out) and he can’t tell you he had moved on in fear of hurting your feelings as well as those of that other woman and thus he dates both of you.
B. LONG TERM/CONNECTED CHEATERS
These are genuine guys who through circumstance, find themselves emotionally connected to two women at the same time. You might have been going through some problems and eventually both of you decided to give it a break either technically or emotionally. During the break he moved on to another woman (which is when you missed him and decided you wanted to work it out) and he can’t tell you he had moved on in fear of hurting your feelings as well as those of that other woman and thus he dates both of you.
These relationships tend to last longer because the guy has an emotional connection to this other woman. The other woman also probably knows about the original girlfriend. Guys who leave their wives for mistresses fall in this category.
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Now that we have discussed the types of cheaters let’s move on to the motives behind the cheating.
THE 9 REASONS WHY MEN CHEAT
i. OPPORTUNITY
The guy just saw an opportunity to release his sexual tensions and thinks he can get away with it. It wasn’t pre-planned, they just happened to be both horny and things happened. No emotional connection exists.
ii. BOREDOM
As relationships progress men have expressed that women generally fall into a comfort zone and the intimacy seems to fade as the connection deepens. Out of boredom they might seek the attention of another woman. Women should always bear in mind that men are hunters in a sense and when the boredom sets in, men generally tend to seek some form of validation to their manhood and do so by entering into relationships with other women.
Also important to note is that there are some women who are simply lame in bed and do not do much to keep their partners interested in them. They are unwilling to try out new things and normally treat sex as a one sided affair that only satisfies the man. BIG MISTAKE. Guys can sense that you’re not into it. Get involved lady.
iii. THE THRILL/ATTRACTION
In this case the woman that the guy cheats with is a 'Trophy chick' in some sense and is the type of woman that he has always wanted or desires. It could also be any woman but who he feels some strong attraction towards- it could be because of her smile, demeanor or most obviously a well shaped thick booty. He has settled with an average woman and then meets the “real” woman of his dreams. He has always wondered what it would be like to 'get up in there' and smash that. This form of cheating is usually to satisfy that question in his mind. This can develop into a serious relationship because he views the woman that he is cheating with as exciting or superior to his initial choice. This could also explain situations where married guys leave their wives for a new mistress.
iv. EGO
Guys generally use their ability to attract women as a subliminal standard of their manhood or as a means to boost their ego. Most guys would love to brag to their friends about the hot chick that they just banged. Opportunistic cheaters generally fall in this category. They feel that the more women they sleep with the higher they are in the GUY hierarchy. It is more of a bucket list mentality that says I want to screw as many women as I can. Ever noticed how the majority of songs playing nowadays are generally about being unfaithful in one way or another? Most guys identify with this and idolize it… and funny enough their friends cheer them on.
v. CURIOSITY/THE MISTAKE CHEAT
Falling in this category are some guys who want to see how far they can go with a woman i.e. he begins by flirting and if the woman responds positively he then goes a step further until some connection is made, not necessarily because he takes the woman seriously but is just eager to see if he has mastered his game. He will tell you all sorts of stuff and do all sorts of things to break down your barriers just to see if he’s “still got it”. These guys initially begin thinking they won’t go far but as things progress they end up inadvertently in a relationship. The guy in this case might view the relationship as a mistake. To clarify this I will use the example of the woman who gets impregnated only to be dumped and left wondering what happened to the connection that she thought they had. Most vulnerable to these guys are self professed virgins because they provide an attractive and challenging target.
vi. ASSURANCE AGAINST HEARTBREAK
A great number of older guys generally believe that women are cheaters and 'full of crap'. It has happened to them before and they have seen it happening to their friends time and again. As some form of assurance against a future heartbreak they cheat just in case their woman is also doing the same. It’s called the 'better them, than me' mentality. This is whereby he believes you will cheat and decides to do it to you before he finds out you are doing it to him. Oftentimes, these guys believe its nature and see it as a normal part of being human.
vii. INADEQUACY/TO COVER UP FAILURE
Unaddressed failures at home, result in some men going to seek gratification and validation elsewhere. For example, if a man is failing to provide for his family or to satisfy his woman. If the woman in his life makes sure he feels his “short-comings” this bruises his ego and hence he will seek alternative means and ways to feel like the man he wants to be. In this category the guy might seek the services of a hooker because she will not judge him in any way for his failures; they have no connection.
viii. ANGER/REVENGE
This is whereby a guy has some bitter emotions and is seeking a way to get back at his partner. Let’s say they had a serious fight, which the guy feels he lost then he might go out and “sexually” take it out on another woman. He is not connected to the woman that he is cheating with but generally sees it as a way of getting even. A classic example is women who withhold sexual privileges from their partners, in most cases as some form of punishment. You expect him to grovel and beg, but guess what, someone else has what you have and they are willing give it to him. So as a way of evading your 'so called' punishment he will cheat just to prove to himself that you ain’t as smart as you think you are.
ix. LOST TIME
Most guys generally spend their teenage years battling their emotions and facing rejection as they try to figure women out. The guys are restricted and have wild fantasies of what they would love to do someday. So they diligently study the female, and as they grow- (somewhere in their mid twenties or later for others )– they realize they can virtually have any woman they desire because probably the guy now has some consistent earnings and has some form of independence. They then become like a kid in a candy shop because its now their turn to be that LADIEZ MAN and try to make-up for all those years of lack, rejection and wet-dreams by fulfilling all those childish fantasies through multiple girlfriends.
Infidelity is one of the greatest causes of heartache and emotional pain. Some men will cheat purely for sexual reasons, while some do it to fill a void, based on inadequacies that they have.
In most cases, the cheating has nothing to do with the person's partner. It is for this reason, that as a woman, you must not take his infidelity as a reflection of your greatness or worthiness.
Whilst some believe that it is impossible for one to leave their cheating ways behind, the truth is that most men regret being unfaithful to their partners.
So now you understand why they cheat but guess what…. This understanding gives you the power to enhance your relationship and be that woman that he believes is sent from heaven.
You might have just found out your man was cheating on you. I'm really sorry about that... but before you do anything silly, please check out this article.
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