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5 things you can do right now to turn your relationship around

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Over time many relationships lose the spark that held them together. The easy thing to do is to throw in the towel and simply look for that spark elsewhere. Many have taken that route and oftentimes the new spark fizzles out and we find ourselves on an endless chase in pursuit of true love.

The harder alternative however, is remembering why you fell in love with that person, and then rekindling that spark. You might think your relationship is beyond redemption... and you might be right... but there's an even greater possibility that you are wrong. In this article, I will cover 5 things you can do right now to turn your relationship around. 

These are a few simple tips about what you can do to make things work and win him back.


1. Decide you want it to work

You will need to make a conscious decision that this is the man you chose and make peace with the fact that he is who he is. Once you have made that decision, try reminding yourself, how and why you fell in love with this bum. Try harder, I'm sure there has to be a reason.

Once you know what brought you together be mindful of what true love is all about. it's not about loving perfection.... its about understanding those differences. Quick test: Say he leaves the toilet seat up... what should you do?

A. Give him a piece of your mind including how he cant keep a job.

B. Nothing

C. Simply put the seat back down  


2. Stop complaining

Remember when you were a kid and you had made a huge mess inside the house. Your mom kept shouting and she just wouldn't stop. Was that a pleasant memory? Well it might be funny now, but i'm pretty sure at the time you were thinking "please stop!!! somebody please make it go away." Well, uhm... how do I tell you this? That's exactly how you sound and he's wishing you could just stop. Your concerns might be genuine, but calm down first and address everything from a position of love. Another thing you should know is that once you start to shout or nag, you suddenly become less attractive and no one wants to be around such a person. Think of the last person who raised their voice at you.... Exactly


3. Acknowledge and appreciate his efforts

 Men put in a lot of work and effort into doing things that they think their partners would love. Try showing him that you see how hard he's trying and that you appreciate it. Start by thanking him for the things that he is doing for you and/or your family. Tell him how safe you feel when he holds you in his arms. If thats a hard one, try thanking him for paying the rent, the bills or even the food youre having. It might not be what you feel is ideal, but your acknowledgement will make him strive for more. The morr you thank him, the more he will want to do for you.


4. Show a genuine interest in what he's doing

This one is a bit tricky... especially if you've grown apart and become set in your ways. Respecting his personal space and any walls that he might have built, ask him about the project that he's working on regardless if it sounds Greek to you.

Ask him to show you how it works and if you're up for it, tell him you'd love to see him at work. Show him an ad for something that might be of interest to him. The key is to be sincere and show genuine interest and appreciation.

When he opens up and tells you about his project, encourage him.

In a bid to seem supportive most people criticize. They will point out everything that someone is doing wrong. Don't let this be you... if his idea is flawed or has a weakness, let it come from him... or be very tactful in how you bring it up.

At this point, he's probably aware of whats wrong and needs to be fixed... all he needs is you to say "wow, what you've created is amazing" or "has potential."

Oh, and try avoiding seeming like you're up to something... we dont want him getting too defensive or guarded now

You can even kick it up a notch and surprise him with a present to help him build his dream. Check out some ideas here:

RECOMMENDED READING: 17 BEST GIFT IDEAS FOR MEN


5. Let bygones be bygones

He might have messed up and you are having trouble getting past what happened. Whilst this might be understandable, it calls for one to make a tough decision. Either you accept that it happened and move on or if you can not, the just call it quits. I'm assuming you still want things to work.... so simply let it go and forgive him. Avoid triggers or anything that might bring up past emotional trauma. The secret is to be clear about your boundaries and to let him know you will not tolerate any crap.

RECOMMENDED READING: YOU FOUND OUT HE CHEATED... NOW WHAT'S NEXT?

Conclusion

Inasmuch as we might want your relationship to work out, it is important to keep an open mind. There is a difference between going through a rough patch and being with someone who does not love you. I do believe any relationship can work if both partners are committed to making it work. Just make sure you're not in it alone.

5 things to turn your relationship around infographic


I hope you found these very helpful and that they will bring peace and eventual joy into your relationship. You can get in touch and let us know how things went via email.

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